My clit

So this is the story of the first time I used some stimulating cream on my clit.


I was in nursing school and one of my classmates invited me to a slumber party. YallYknkw what I mean ? A sex toy party. So we are in this cute little apartment with sex toys everywhere and all these girls I’m in nursing school with.


Now just so y’all have a good picture of my life at the time. I was living with my mother and I had a new babygirl ( my first ) at this point in my life I was aware of my proclivity towards freaky sex but still thought I was wrong to want to be that way so I stuffed those feelings and desires down inside of me and pretended to be “normal”.


So the woman doing the party tells us there is some cream and qtips in the bathroom and when we went in there we should put a little of this cream on our clit to try it out. So I did.


MAN ….. The cream got very warm and tingling and I was pretty turned on at this point , but I was to uncomfortable to announce that at the party in front of all these fine upstanding citizens and shit. So when I finally got home , I retrieved my bullet from it’s hiding place in my nightstand. I turned it on and put it right on my clit and in 3 seconds I came so hard my ears were ringing.


And that is my story.




Inhale the good shit , exhale the bullshit : This is me exhaling

This is not a sexy , erotic , kink filled take my friends. I’m writing this to try and make sense of my day. I’m very confused and I feel violated. But wait , let me begin with a little back story.


My sister and I do not speak. I have chosen to not have her in my life at all. I don’t trust her because she has lied to me time and time again about some pretty important things. That being said here was my day….


I was doing some work on my social media pages and I got a text from a number I didn’t have saved , nor did I recognize the number….

Hey I know you hate me but there’s something you should know but don’t tell Mom yet.

I text back…. Who is this

Right before I hit send I get this

I’m dying

I guessed that it was my sister , and I tell her I don’t believe her. She asked to talk to me and I call she doesn’t answer , I send a couple more messages told her if she didn’t answer I was going to tell Mom exactly what she said. No answer for more than 20 minutes. I sent my mother a screenshot and then I messaged my sister’s boyfriend. My mother tells me I’m wrong because if she is dying I missed an opportunity to show my sister love and compassion.


I need to let y’all know , most of the lies my sister has told me and her elaborate plans to help my ex snatch my son was carried out by my sister and mother. 

So around this time I’m pissed , why should I believe a woman that has done nothing but lie to me , trick  me , and destroy my family , about anything ? But she called and she was sobbing said she had brain cancer and was told she had 6 months to live. I’m torn because she is my sister and if she is dying that makes me sad and want to help her. She apologized for all the shitty things she had done and I reminded her she had apologized before and done the same shit again so I wished her luck and told her she wasn’t dead yet don’t act like it.


Her boyfriend messages me after I get off the phone with her. I had sent a concerned message when she wouldn’t text back and he explained that her Facebook account got hacked but she was right there perfectly fine. I asked if her phone got hacked and sent him a screenshot of her message. He said it was her number but not ber. I said I spoke with her. He told me she said she talked to me but said nothing about cancer or dying….


Who lies about some shit like that and for no other reason than I can fathom but to fuck with me. My mother blocked me and says it’s not all about me and Becky has been cured I guess…..


I didn’t ask her to call or message me today or any day. I didn’t start anything with her , I was doing me and life. I feel stupid for being sad that she was sick , I’m angry at myself for letting her suck me in AGAIN. I know she is nothing but a piece of shit lying cunt. I couldn’t let go of the what if it’s true….. And also who would lie about that ?


She would. That’s who. Next time I will be stronger and more confident that whatever comes out of he mouth is completely fucking fiction. I won’t acknowledge her and I’ll remain happy and untouched by the darkness she lives in.


Night Time

I’m usually awake and alone at night. Even if he is awake he’s either not here or outside in the shop. He falls asleep out there or in his recliner in the den. So no matter what , I’m alone.





I don’t like being alone , I need constant stimulation in order to feel ok. I know it’s alot but it’s really fun. I don’t mean constant sexual stimulation , I mean everything gets attention mind , body , spirit , soul. Without it I wither and could possibly die. Or at least feel like I’m dying. I’ve been withering for a while. Now I don’t want to paint an unclear picture. He does give me attention. Why just this evening he fucked the hell out of me and it was awesome. Then he needs a break , from me. A break from me. That makes me so sad.


I’m hoping things will be the way they were before. My fear is that’s not possible. He has been my everything for so long and he doesn’t even see how far he has pushed me away. He blames it all on me. Sigh. I love him so very much


The end

Keep your dick out of my inbox

Pardon this rant. I can’t help it I must write about one thing that really chaps my hide. Not the only thing but a big one.


I am all over social media. I have public fan pages and groups on Facebook , communities on Google+ , Instagram , Twitter etc. So I get messages from lots of folks for different reasons. The type of messages I get the most are from men that want pics or to Skype , some say they are my Dom , some want to be dominated. The ones that make me wanna puke send pictures of they’re weeniers. I’m like why ? I don’t want pictures of some strangers junk greeting me in the morning like an enthusiastic server at ihop. The worst part is that 75% of the time they don’t speak or read English so they can’t understand the information I’m sharing with them. Like your weenie is not a turn on or please God make me unsee this ignorant halibuts member.


I bitch about this all the time , how rude and obnoxious men are with social media shielding their identity.

No I don’t want your sex

No I’m not giving you my sex

No I won’t find you a sub/Dom

No I don’t want to hear about your sex life

No I don’t want pics

No I’m not going to Kik you

No I don’t send pics

No I won’t be your Mistress





The above picture is a screenshot of my filtered messages on Facebook. This is crazy. I guess it’s because I’m easy on the eyes , but I’m alot more than that. It’s sad to me that so many men don’t care all they want are dirty pics and some sex chat. Well look that group up then. Leave me alone. If my mind is not challenged then my body isn’t interested.





Three on one

This is the story about my first playdate in the lifestyle. When I discovered this wonderful way of life I was forty something , my third marriage was over and I was lonely. Someone told me to try fetlife and I was enchanted. As I manuvered my way around this nifty new site I got a friend request from a local gentleman. We decided to meet at his office one day after he sent me a checklist. I was shocked by some of the things on the checklist but most everything I was willing to try ( I’ve always been a freak .)



So I go to his office downtown and he showed me his toys , we ratalk a little and he put his dick down my throat. I was a good little sub and suvjeson it with eager energy. Then I went home and cooked dinner for the kids.


After we chatted for a week or so he asked me if I wanted to play with him a Domme and her sissy boy. I said sure. The playdate  was set up for the next day. I got to the motel and found the room , sat in my car for a bit smoking weed and wondering what in the world I was doing. The Domme spotted me and came out to my car. She said he was running late and I could come on in if I wanted , so I did. He showed up shortly after I got inside and he sat in a chair and told me to strip. Now I’ve always be a bigger girl and I was ready to protest but then I thought well fuck it and I stripped. If you want something different you have to do something different , am I right ? So after a bit of clothespin fun I was ordered face down on the bed , I was bound spread eagel and completely naked to said bed. I don’t remember a lot of what happened but there were things in most of my holes for a while. I came over and over and over. I will never forget the feelings from that elicit encounter at the motel. I may not remember many of the activities but it was a lot of fun.

I got tied to a chair and I liked it

We had discussed the evening before he got to town. I was nervous and excited at the same time. I was meeting him at the motel then we would take his truck to the party. I would put the remote control egg in place and he would have the control. This was only our second “date” and I was looking forward to a really fun evening.


I got to the hotel and went up to his room. I checked myself in the mirror on the elevator. I looked younger than my 47 years in this light or maybe it was the makeup. My leather mini skirt looked sexy with the thigh high boots and the black lace shirt I wore showed off my huge tits rather nicely. I knocked on the door. He answered and told me to come in we would have a drink before we left.


Once I was in his room he shut the door turned to me and grinned. He said that drink can wait and told me to face the chair with my legs spread and my arms down. He attached each foot to a chair leg with some handcuffs and bent me over the chair at my waist there was rope ready for my wrists and he effortlessly had me restrained in less than 3 minutes. Then he stepped back and admired me for a minute and lifted my skirt pleased to see a wet , bald pussy with no panties. He entered me and pounded my cunt until I came. He cleaned me up untied me and gave me a root beer.  We headed to the play party at one of the local dungeons.


I am saving the remote control egg story for next time. That was just the plans I was privy too. The quickie on the chair was a bonus.



What he wants

I left plenty of room for him to be able to move around when and where I told him too. The blindfold was secure and so was he. Everytime I smacked him lean body with the first of my pleasure sticks ( this one is my favorite crop ) I could see his body respond from. The chill bumps on his skin to his throbbing hard cock. I rubbed my crop gently but firmly over his swollen member and he let out a soft moan. I smacked him hard across the face as I had told him not to make a sound.


I walked over to my table where my tools were laid out. I chose a pair of scissors. Slowly I made my way back to him and cut off his blindfold but left him restrained. I went to my chair that was carefully placed in front of him. Close enough where he had a great view but far enough away that he couldn’t touch me if he tried.


I sat down my short black skirt riding up just enough. My huge tits were even more massive with my corset perfectly in place. This corset was my favorite as it came to right beneath my tits and kind of help them there. his mouth was slightly open and his eyes were curious. This was the first scene for him and I , he didn’t know how I worked. I had told him I would make him suffer for 30 minutes then send him home to his wife. I didn’t tell him how I would make him suffer.


My Hitachi was on the table beside me. I picked it up with one hand absently rubbing a nipple with the other. I placed the head of the toy on my sweet little clit and turned it on low tweaking first one nipple then the other. The electric sensation was immediate and my cunt was dripping wet. I began gyrating my hips to meet the glorious stimulation and I moaned.  Switching the toy to the next speed I was going faster and faster , turned it up again and again. Finally I was at top speed and I could not help but let out a small scream whemi came. Then I got up and left the room.


I sent my driver in to release him and give him my note that said I would see him in 2 weeks. What fun he was.




The End is Near

I guess there’s always that point when you realize you’re not as important as you thought you were to someone. I was hoping I found the one I would be with forever. My happily ever after. My soul mate. I was wrong.


How do I even act now that I see everything I believed in was wrong ? How can I trust anyone , even myself ? Am I so unimportant that a welding machine takes precedence over my doctor’s appointment ? How could I have been that wrong ? I feel worthless , ugly , unappealing , afraid , and so much more stuff I can’t even articulate.


I know these feelings will pass as I have been here before. Before I was not as alone in the world as I am now ,  that won’t keep me down. The worst thing right now are all these feelings that make my throat ache and my stomach queasy. I’m riding a dark wave of negative emotion and I just want to settle on solid ground. I was sure my future would be filled with someone that loved me as I loved him. It may be but I haven’t met that dude yet.


I guess it’s really true about everything , what goes up must come down.


My new dick

So it was like Christmas in September at my house. How exciting to get my new strapless strap on in the mail. I had been fantasizing about my new appendage and the places I want to put it. Oh my !


I told my eager sissy to go get ready while I got to know my brand new dick. I inserted one end into my sopping wet pussy and wiggled here and there until I was comfortable. When my sissy entered the room I was laying on the bed stroking my dick.

I motioned for him to come to me and get on his knees. When he was in position , I grabbed his hair and forced my new dixk down his pretty throat. He gagged a little but quickly recovered and I began to thrust my dick all the way in and all the way out of his willing throat.


Soon I wanted to find another hole onu sissy and violate that. I told him to bend over the end of the bed with his tight little ass spread and ready. I’m not a complete asshole , I lubed up before I found the entrance to his little ass. I slapped his little asshole with my new dick and told my sissy not to make a sound. I entered him , gently. It was work getting my new dick in such a little bity hole. My sissy began to relax as he got used to being fucked in the ass. The more he moaned the more excited I got and the faster I fucked him. It didn’t take long before my sissy exploaded screaming with pleasure that he’d not known before. I made him clean my new dick off and we fell asleep spent.


I like my new dick




Vibrators , dildos , and butt plugs oh my

The question now is , when I do need to give myself some love , do I use my fingers or do I use a masterbation aid ? As much as I love and appreciate my fingers , they don’t create the intense , earth shattering , mind blowing orgasm that the right vibrator does. Size doesn’t matter what matters is the power behind the motion of these wonderful tools. Treate yourself , you’ll be glad you did.

I am more than happy to help you select exactly what you need. Questions are encouraged and my inbox is always open. I am your sex toy consultant and I take my job seriouslyc32832948f5923ee34107e1f4c4fbffb