Times they are a changing

So much confusion and feelings of doubt cloud my psyche today so I come here and I write hoping I can understand things in my world a bit better.

My relationship with my Sir is over , my Daddy , my rock , my everything. He is none of these things to me anymore. I fell head over heels in love with a man that loved me completely. A man that made me feel beautiful , sexy , desired , and wanted. I have felt none of these things for much to long. I kept holding on , knowing he would come back to me and be my Sir once again. How long can a person hold on to it hope ? Did I give up to soon ? Could he still love me as he once did ? I think not. I cry everyday because he shows me how little I mean to him with so many actions. He let’s me know I’m an afterthought by putting so many before me. He tells me one thing and I cling to hope , the hope fades when his actions , again , prove to me I am not a priority to him.

I am sad , scared , confused and devastated. How will I survive without him ? Just as I have always survived I tell myself. I am submissive , not weak. I will pick myself up and brush myself off and move forward. I will remember the sweet special way he made me feel for so long and I will be grateful I had that time , I will not dwell on the end I won’t think of the ease he was able.to cast me aside because that’s about him , not me. I will be ok and the pain will subside with time. I will regain myself , I will socialize and enjoy life. I won’t cry everyday anymore and I will grow because of this.

I knew a love that I had never before known and for that I am grateful. Some people never get to experience the pure Bliss that was ours for to short a time. I am lucky to have known such magic. My insides still shake and I feel lost but this will pass and I will be myself again at some point. Forever changed for the better. A new improved me , which is all. I want….. To be a better person today than I was yesterday. Thanks for reading about the end of the most wonderful time of my life thus far.

7 thoughts on “Times they are a changing

  1. You hit the nail on the head when you said, “I am submissive, not weak.” While it will be a tough adjustment, I’m sure you will perserver. Also, like you said, you knew a love you hadnt known before. Not many get to experience that. So, as painful as it may be, you have those times to look back on and smile.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. We have discussed a trial separation with the hope it will allow us to see things in a different way I am holding onto to hope that doing something different will be a positive way to work on us. If not at least we won’t hate one another in the event of a true separation. I am hopeful

      Like

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