I’m usually awake and alone at night. Even if he is awake he’s either not here or outside in the shop. He falls asleep out there or in his recliner in the den. So no matter what , I’m alone.
I don’t like being alone , I need constant stimulation in order to feel ok. I know it’s alot but it’s really fun. I don’t mean constant sexual stimulation , I mean everything gets attention mind , body , spirit , soul. Without it I wither and could possibly die. Or at least feel like I’m dying. I’ve been withering for a while. Now I don’t want to paint an unclear picture. He does give me attention. Why just this evening he fucked the hell out of me and it was awesome. Then he needs a break , from me. A break from me. That makes me so sad.
I’m hoping things will be the way they were before. My fear is that’s not possible. He has been my everything for so long and he doesn’t even see how far he has pushed me away. He blames it all on me. Sigh. I love him so very much